


The hazards of Christmas decorations

by raeupchen



Series: Don't try this at home [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Crack, Established Relationship, Fairy lights made them do it, Humor, Implied Alive Hale Family, Light Bondage, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, cursed Christmas decorations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raeupchen/pseuds/raeupchen
Summary: Stiles tries to decorate his home for the upcoming holidays and becomes slightlytangled upin some fairy lights.





	The hazards of Christmas decorations

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I totally blame [proudandbroken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/proudandbroken/) for this fic. She sent me [this link (NSFW)](http://czarnyma.tumblr.com/post/179525943131/justthingsipost-elgatorojodekazakhstan) and at first it was simply funny, until the plotbunny bit me and this little tale came to life.
> 
> The story is unbetaed and I don‘t make any money with it.
> 
> As it kinda fit the plot of “Caution: swallowing dick may lead to injury – memoirs of a size queen” I thought ‘why the hell not?’ and made a series out of those two. It’s not really necessary to read it as both stories contain minimal plot. But if you wanted to, you could read it as well!

Well...do you know the situation where you try to disentangle your Christmas lights and end up having weird sex wrapped up in them? No? Then here’s the full story for you:

So far it had been a pretty ordinary day for Stiles. He’d started to set up his and Derek’s house for the upcoming holidays, even though the werewolf seemed to hate Christmas with a fiery passion. Stiles had begun to get their assortment of fairy lights down from the attic, but his plans of setting them up by himself were disturbed when he noticed how tangled up they were.

He was pretty sure that he’d carefully packed the lights away in their respective packages but that wasn’t the case anymore. Every single string of lights was tangled up and not in the way where you followed the line a little and were able to untwist the whole thing. Oh no, this was way worse, as it looked like someone had tried their hand at braiding the different strands together and create an epic fuckfest of confusion for the next person to lay their eyes upon the masterpiece.

Stiles was about to start screaming bloody murder, because he loved Christmas, he _enjoyed_ putting up decorations for the merriest time of the year and now his plans were thwarted by some evil spirit. And it _had_ to be an evil spirit, no one else was capable of such pure _evilness_.  
If he didn’t know better he’d suspect Derek’s hand in all of this, but not even the spirit of the Grinch could have inspired the werewolf to do something like _this_. No, there had to be another explanation for this, of that Stiles was sure. Right then it didn’t really matter either way, because Stiles wanted to get his fairy lights untangled and he wanted it _now_.

Derek had run into town to get something or other and Stiles wasn’t entirely sure what the other man needed to get as he hadn’t been very specific. On top of that Stiles had been occupied with looking up new recipes for the holidays. So there was no chance in hell he had listened to anything the werewolf had said before sprinting out of the house.

Stiles shook his head and tried to concentrate on the matter at hand, namely those stupid lights, which were getting on his last nerve. He’d started out earlier in the day clad in his Christmas sweater and some old underwear, but had discarded the thick, wooly garment rather quickly, because it was simply too hot inside the house, more so when he was working and carrying around heavy boxes full of decorations. So it happened that he was sitting in his and Derek’s bedroom wearing just his old boxershorts surrounded by miles of Christmas lights on tangled strings. He wasn’t too sure how he would get out of there ever again, but hoped for the best as Derek had to come back home sometime.

Stiles followed one of the intertwined strings while turning around on his butt, which resulted in him being tangled up in a few different strings with no way to escape on his own. He was pretty sure that getting wrapped up in fairy lights was nearly unheard of, but living in Beacon Hills had taught him that _nothing_ was out of the range of the possible. Apparently even with Christmas decorations. Had he had more than two hands Stiles would have facepalmed, but as it was he had somehow bound his hands to the sides of his torso. How _that_ had happened, he wasn’t entirely sure, maybe the lights were cursed? That had to be it, it couldn’t be that Stiles’ clumsiness alone was responsible for his misfortune, no one could be that clumsy.

With a deep sigh Stiles accepted his destiny and tried to find a more or less comfortable seating position to wait for his boyfriend’s return. He really hoped Derek wouldn’t linger in town just to escape the joys of decorating their house. Stiles wouldn’t put it past the werewolf to feign an emergency just to get out of making it more cheery. It wasn’t as if Derek was constantly grumpy and hated everyone and everything, he simply disliked the act of decorating for the holidays. At least that was what he’d told Stiles.

As time went by, Stiles grew more and more restless. He started to fidget, trying to escape the energy that seemed to be building up inside him. An insistent humming beneath his skin, quite similar to the feeling when Derek and he were making out. Did that mean he _liked_ being tied up? Huh, maybe something to revisit later.

From time to time he tried to loosen the strings wrapped around his hands, but the only result was that it felt as if they were just getting tighter and tighter. Wrapping more firmly around him and intensifying the sensation coursing through his body, which Stiles now recognized as arousal.

Squirming about, sliding with his butt over the floor had not only the effect that the strings around his torso tightened more and more, but also that his shorts, which were too wide for his slim hips, had ended up just below his buttcheeks. So now Stiles was sitting there, bound by Christmas lights, with his naked ass on the floor and an undeniable arousal running through his body. The arousal was only enhanced by the slight constriction of the elastic band pushing at his hardening dick. Stiles was more than ready for his boyfriend to come home, not only so the werewolf could free him but also so Derek could fuck him into next week. Many, many times in hopefully equally as many positions.

Stiles despaired the fact that he couldn’t even reach down and tug a little on his cock or maybe free it of its confinement, even though he liked the feeling of the waistband scratching over the skin when he moved a little. It was still torture, when you couldn’t do anything about the ache.

The at first gently humming arousal was becoming a need, which had to be sated right then. So Stiles could have cried, when he heard the opening and closing of the frontdoor and Derek’s light steps coming up the stairs. When the werewolf opened the door to their bedroom, his steps faltered.

“What the hell, Stiles?” were the first words Derek spoke to his boyfriend upon entering the room.

“Well, it’s not what it looks like!” the human defended himself.

“Really? Because to me it looks like you’re tangled up in Christmas lights and about ready to cum,” Derek observed after scenting the air.

“Uhm, maybe it is _exactly_ what it looks like? But I didn’t do it on purpose, I think?” The werewolf didn’t dignify this with an answer, instead he reached out, unsheathed one of his claws and tried to slice through the string constricting Stiles’ upperbody. The first time he simply didn’t make contact with the string, so he tried again and again. Derek furrowed his brows when he tried for a fourth time and still couldn’t see a difference in the string. It was still intact, still wound around Stiles. The only thing that had changed since Derek tried to slice through the string, was that he now seemed to be just as affected as Stiles was, as arousal started to hum beneath his skin. Unnoticed by the werewolf had one single string started to wind up his left leg.

“Stiles, where did those fairy lights come from?” Derek asked, after he gave into the urge to get rid of his shirt and pants, making short work of the latter and sliced right through them, because the fairy lights attached to his leg made it impossible to push them down and off. Derek wondered when both of his legs had become entangled in the strings. Hadn’t he been standing beside them? He sure as hell hadn’t turned around, which could have caused the lights winding up his legs. And shouldn’t he be more concerned with getting Stiles out of those things? Why was he putting his hand on Stiles’ ass and pressing with a finger against his hole instead? Not that Stiles terribly minded, as he was moaning loudly at this action.

“From the attic?” Stiles asked more than anything else, while pushing back into Derek’s finger. It felt as if he was compelled to seek out Derek’s finger, because only the other man could help him sate the need deep inside him. “Does it really matter? Wouldn’t you rather pound me into the floor or something? _Please_?” Derek couldn’t really argue with that, so he simply got on his knees, gently guided Stiles onto his front and finally nosed around Stiles’ backside. The human commented this with a low moan.  
Taking this as encouragement, Derek grinned before he put his hands on either side of Stiles’ ass and pulled the cheeks apart. Before him lay what he desired day in and day out, so without further ado he put his mouth to good use and licked over Stiles’ hole, always conscious of the sounds his boyfriend was making. They both loved it – well Stiles loved _and_ hated it in equal measures – when Derek rimmed Stiles.

As Stiles’ moans became louder and louder, Derek decided that it was time to let the real fun begin. For a short moment he wondered what they should do about lube as they couldn’t get up and get it from their bedside table, when he noticed the tube lying next to his right knee. He wrinkled his brow, but shrugged and decided that maybe Stiles had somehow planned this whole thing, before he grabbed the tube and squeezed some of the stuff onto his fingers.

“Come on, Derek. What are you waiting for? Fuck me already, I’ve waited _hours_ for you to return,” Stiles whined, while squirming impatiently and presenting his ass to Derek’s enjoyment. With a slightly evil smirk Derek pushed his first finger into Stiles’ hole, causing the other man to hiss and moan, before starting to push back against the invading digit

Knowing that Stiles could take it, Derek soon had another finger pushing into his boyfriend. The werewolf pushed the fingers of his right hand into Stiles’ ass, while his left held the human’s hip steady. Both men enjoyed this immensely and soon Derek had to add a third finger, because Stiles grew impatient again. Absentmindedly the werewolf noticed that the little lights wrapped around them started to flicker. At first it was just a dull glow, barely noticeable, which grew brighter and brighter with every moan and pant Stiles emitted. Not putting too much thought into this strange occurrence Derek pulled his fingers out of his boyfriend’s ass and squeezed some more lube onto his fingers to prepare his own cock for entering the other man.

Derek positioned himself behind Stiles, his right hand on his dick, his left still steadying the human on his hips. After an impatient _“Derek”_ from Stiles, he finally guided his cock towards the other’s entrance and pushed in carefully. Not meeting any resistance and taking the human’s loud moan and “More!” as a hint, he pushed in further until his own hips cradled Stiles’ ass. Derek stayed in this position for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being one with the love of his life.

When Stiles started to squirm in earnest Derek decided it was time to start moving. He started with a gentle and slow rhythm, getting them both into the groove, but that was apparently not enough for Stiles, as he demanded constantly “Harder! Faster!”. Not being able to deny the human anything Derek sped up his thrusts and was rewarded with Stiles’ happy screams.

Meanwhile the lights wrapped around them were nearly blinding, they shone so brightly that they illuminated the whole room, as dusk had fallen during their coupling. Would have either of them been in their right mind, they’d have noticed that they were glowing far brighter than any simple fairy light should be able to. But as it was neither of the two men had time to notice such trivial things.

Derek couldn’t stop himself, he pounded into Stiles, just as the man had wished of him earlier. As the werewolf felt his orgasm sneaking up on him, he took one of his hands from his boyfriend’s hips and started to stroke the other’s cock in the same rhythm as his thrusts. If his constantly louder moans were anything to go by, Stiles approved wholeheartedly of this decision.

Suddenly Derek felt Stiles’ cock spurt all over his hand and the floor. Stiles’ inner walls were constricting around Derek’s dick so deliciously that the werewolf couldn’t help himself and joined the other man in orgasmic bliss.  
After he finished cumming, Derek kissed Stiles’ shoulder blade and guided the two of them gently to the floor, conscious of the little lamps attached to their bodies. When they lay there wrapped around each other, the fairy lights finally came free. Hadn’t the werewolf been so exhausted he would’ve found the whole thing extremely suspicious, as it was he fought to keep his eyes open and decided a short nap wouldn’t go amiss.

Some time later Stiles started to stir, which resulted in Derek waking up as well.

Sleepily the werewolf asked again “So, where the hell did those fairy lights come from?”

“From your aunt Griselda, I think?” Stiles said, after stretching and cuddling back up to his boyfriend.

“Are you kidding me?” Derek facepalmed. Of course it had to do something with his family. “Why the fuck were you using fairy lights that my aunt gave you? Didn’t you know that she’s a witch living just to fuck with her family? If you wanted to try bondage, you should have just said so, we’d’ve gotten the right equipment and not used strings of _Christmas decoration_.”

“What? Nevermind, hold that thought!” Stiles was slightly perplex, “She told me that they were a family heirloom and I thought it would be rude to just get rid of them? So I got them down and started to disentangle them, when I became entangled in them somehow...”

“Yeah, wonder why,” Derek mumbled, before saying: “Promise me to never use anything someone from my family gave you _ever again_ without consulting me first.”

“I promise,” Stiles said in a grave tone. “Wait how many cursed items are there in your family?”

Derek gave a deep sigh, trying to find the strength for this conversation, but finally deciding that it had to wait for another day. “You really don’t want to know...”

Giving this some thought, Stiles hummed and came to the decision just to ask: “So, are all of your aunts and uncles devious psychopaths? I mean...the fairy – lights – aunt, Peter….I know he plays it up most of the time, but no one is _that_ good at acting...”

As he was way too tired for this discussion, Derek just rolled over and snuggled up to Stiles. The floor may not be the most comfortable place for that, but after being compelled to fuck his boyfriend into it, Derek found he could live with this. And really, who other than one of his family members thought it would be a great idea to curse _fairy lights_? Not that he terribly minded, as the result had been spectacular.

After a few moments of silence Stiles perked up again and said: “The good thing is my dad hadn’t been called this time around. There _are_ perks of living in the middle of nowhere!” Again Derek refused to answer, but was silently glad as well. He really didn’t want to encounter the Sheriff ever again in any relation to their sex life. Once was one time too many.

And that is the tale how Stiles and Derek were urged to have sex by some their Christmas decoration...


End file.
